A life skill I don't have

Dear future hubster,

please note that I am probably the worst negotiator on the face of the planet. Therefore, you need to keep in mind that

1: you shouldn't send me to an African market because I would pay the sticker price. My mind just can't accept the idea that there is a price that is not to be taken seriously by any means, and we need to engage in some obscure ritual, at the end of which I'm probably still being screwed over, but maybe a little less.

2: I'm not to be trusted with buying a car with diplomatic discount (or any discount, actually). Same as above, I have a hard time haggling for something we both know I should get. 

3: if you want something, or don't want something, you should just say it please. I get very anxious in conversations where I suspect there is a condition I'm not aware of because it wasn't explicitly communicated. You don't want aubergine four times a week, say it. But don't come up with pseudo-scientific arguments about the effect of too much purple food on the human brain.