Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Makes the heart grow fonder

Dear future hubster,
I think everybody should be in a distance relationship at some point. Not for a long time, because it sucks, but for a bit longer than a weekend apart. 
Of course nobody wants to be alone, and when you find your person, you simply want to be with them all the time. And that's the trap. It's so easy to happily become part of a team, a couple, a unit, to be "one item", and forgetting to still be an individual. 
If you are geographically apart, you have no choice but to have a life on your own. You can't identify yourself on a daily basis as the boyfriend/girlfriend/secret lover/sassy spouse/significant other of somebody. Being in a relationship is part of who you are, but it shouldn't be all that you are. And when you're separated by distance, you grow more confident of yourself as a person, you develop an "I can do this alone" attitude. And that's healthy! Your boyfriend/girlfriend/secret lover/sassy spouse/significant other chose you for who you are as a person, not for who you are as half a couple. And if you know you can manage to be by yourself, you become a lot less desperate - being with somebody becomes a blessing, not a need.

I know, I'm so wise. I could be a self-help book. Only that I actually don't like waking up alone.

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