Saturday, January 30, 2016

And that may happen past curfew

Dear future hubster,
Sometimes I just need somebody I can drunk text when I get home. No more, no less than "the room is spinning". You ok with that?

Friday, January 29, 2016

Love is just one of them

Dear future hubster,
don't just get carried away and hear the church bells in your head when somebody tells you they have feelings for you. 
Disappointment is a feeling too, you know.
So is disgust.
Fear, remorse, contempt, aggression - depending on which school of thought you follow.

Friday, January 22, 2016

Or be square

Dear future hubster,
I've always found it hard to determine my preferred love language. I always thought time and attention were the most important factors for me, and I never had to wonder whether I was touchy. I am. Tactile till the bitter end.
But then I was accused of being a notorious gift-giver, and when I have a good long look inside, I know I'm guilty as charged. I suspect it's more a display of my insecurities and means that I try to leave my mark (the same way I forget pieces of jewelry everywhere), but I can't deny that I have certain Santa-tendencies. 
Then, in one of my extremely wise moments, I realized two things. 
One: I'm trying to anxiously fit myself into a category, because I hope it will be a relief, to finally have rules in something as slippery and amorphous as love. This should be the manual I've been desperately looking for!
Two: All love languages come basically come down to one: being there. You're there through your kind words, your back rubs, your motivational mugs, your banana breads, or you're not. 

Saturday, January 16, 2016

♫ The circle of life ♫

Dear future hubster,
I think a sub-category of the famous "people come and people go" needs to be acknowledged for present and future generations.
Inspirational people are no different. People who influence your life, whether you know them personally or not, are no different. They will leave. Some will die on you, some will walk out of your life. You will be standing there, angry at life for those who passed away, and angry at those who walked away. 
You shouldn't. In either case, there is nothing you can do to turn it back around. They showed up in your life, did what they were supposed to do, and left. What you learned from and because of them, how your view on the world, life, love and yourself changed, is yours. 
Now have a look at all those lessons - their legacy, if you like -, and pass them on to the people that are still in your life. Be what the lost ones have been to you. 

Friday, January 8, 2016

Moments of gold, flashes of light

Dear future hubster,
There are many memorable, significant, irrelevant but sweet moments in every relationship.
Two of my favourites are:

The moment before you first kiss me. That split second when I already know that it's going to happen; when all excitement and anticipation boils up to near explosion point; and
The moment when all is said and done, either because we decided that we are going to do this, and invest time and energy in a tomorrow and maybe even a next week together, we're relieved from having made that big decision, and the responsibility feels like a noble one because we chose to bear it; or, because we came to the conclusion, that "this", whatever it may be, can no longer go on, for reasons within and beyond us; we're relieved from having made that big decision, and the feeling of responsibility hasn't even started fading away.
Those are deliberating moments, when things appear the way they are, raw, random, senseless, meaningful. Life is a little more intense then, and a glimpse of the proverbial bigger picture is sneaking around the corner.