Friday, January 3, 2020

For Auld Lang Syne

Dear future hubster,
when there is no church tower with a clock or a bell to strike twelve times to mark midnight, and the neighbours start their celebration half a minute before we do, and the fireworks go on ten seconds too early, you might hear your future wife shout something like "It doesn't matter! Time is a social construct!" while casually holding a glass of Veuve Clicquot in one hand, and waving to the jumpy neighbours with the other. 
Now there are a few things you can do at this point. You can, for instance, be amused and proud, because who doesn't like a nerdy future wife (who also makes a killer lava cake and sports cat ears like nobody's business).
Or, you can be slightly irritated and want her to stop talking. In which case you should proceed to kiss her to shut her up. It's midnight after all.