Thursday, August 31, 2017

And not just the rock star

Dear future hubster,
in times when I just arrived somewhere, or just came back from somewhere, but either way am culture shocked, tired or anxious for any reason (and reasons are many), and have lots of stuff to do that I really don't want to do, maybe want it to be done but not exactly doing it but know I have to and know I will, when I know you want to help me but I know you don't know how, and I know I'm not helping you help me, because I want solutions but I don't want you to provide them, and I probably don't want you having to deal with them, basically, when I'm being a breathing hissy fit with the attitude of a 3 months-old, please know that I don't enjoy being that version of myself.
Know that it will pass. And know that the best you can do is just stick around, be there, and hold my hand time and again. The rock star me will very quietly, but very deeply appreciate that.

Sunday, August 6, 2017

You wanna steal a piece of time?

Dear future hubster,
as an addition or elaboration or continuation of the "how friends happen to you" theory picks up where we left off: that we do choose to put in the time and effort for those accidental friendships to live on. Otherwise they will be no more than a friend fling, a could have been, a "what a great person" moment.

We need to make memories. We need to have experiences together. A long car ride is an experience, be it between Luxembourg and Fehérvár or between Gisenyi and Kigali. Entebbe and Jinja. Lucca and Luzern. A long walk is an experience, be it between Logroño and Nájera or between Karanga and Barafu. Long nights of board games are an experience, long afternoons of making food are an experience, long days of listening to music, watching the Olympics and discussing shot-putting are experiences. Looking and sunsets and sunrises and storms and rainbows together. Going to see Tour de France hungover in some godforsaken village. Attracting all the creepers one field can gather. Suffering on mountains and sleeping under the same mosquito net.

Bottom line is: we need to put in the work. For all that technology offers, e-drinking and skype calls are but a substitute. A good tool to keep it up until we can make those memories again, but they can't replace the actual making. Without that, these friendships of ours just become yet another thing we could have done.