Dear future hubster

Dear future hubster, the first time I put on sunscreen, the smell of it hits me every time. It smells like summer, and not just heat and water. It smells like breeze, air, literally and figuratively. It smells like freedom, even though I'm not sure what from; it smells like long days and late nights, music, mosquito bites, being young and a little reckless. I write about this every year, because it happens every year, all my hardworking blood cells do their little dance and organize themselves into tacky motivational posters to tell me to live, laugh, love. And I do, I sleep less, I feel more, everything is a little more intense once the sunscreen is on.  Last year all this intensity had nowhere to go. All we had was hopes being crushed, plans constantly postponed, grief, anxiety, nothing to look forward to. This year it feels very cautious, not-wanting-to-get-hopes-too-high, watching what others do, envying them for it, FOMO creeping back in, anxiety over how to do these things ag...