Carpe diem, if you like

Dear future hubster,

The older I get, the more I hear, and, much worse, the more I say "those were the days". But then the more I say it the more I know that although this statement carries a certain proportion of truth, it is not entirely correct. Especially the implication that compares "those" days to "these", suggesting that "these" are not the days.

And that is so wrong. These are the days, dear future hubster. These are the days we're living, these are the days to make ridiculous mistakes and achieve great goals.

These are the days that are never coming back; they will only become "those" days.

We are all made of stars

Dear future hubster,

can we go stargazing sometimes? By which I mean, actually going somewhere remote (or on the roof), and watch the stars? The shooting ones, in particular? I can of course always be impressed and carried away by anybody having (or pretending to have) any knowledge about the stars, since all I can recognize is the Orion, the Big Dipper, and, since recently, the Southern Cross, but watching the shooting stars and having a wish for each and every one of them would be even more of a cliché romantic experience. 

I would probably wish that we can come and watch them again and again, at least twice a year. 

The fist and the stove, part 3

Dear future hubster,
The very idea of that proverbial picture perfect housewife, the one who looks impeccable but doesn't look like she's trying to, who is a goddess in the kitchen and in the bedroom, is defeated when any given woman is throwing a dinner party. There is no sequence of getting yourself pretty and having all food ready and fresh where your hair wouldn't smell like kale chips, garlic bread, or chocolate muffins.

Makes the heart grow fonder

Dear future hubster,

I think everybody should be in a distance relationship at some point. Not for a long time, because it sucks, but for a bit longer than a weekend apart. 

Of course nobody wants to be alone, and when you find your person, you simply want to be with them all the time. And that's the trap. It's so easy to happily become part of a team, a couple, a unit, to be "one item", and forgetting to still be an individual. 

If you are geographically apart, you have no choice but to have a life on your own. You can't identify yourself on a daily basis as the boyfriend/girlfriend/secret lover/sassy spouse/significant other of somebody. Being in a relationship is part of who you are, but it shouldn't be all that you are. And when you're separated by distance, you grow more confident of yourself as a person, you develop an "I can do this alone" attitude. And that's healthy! Your boyfriend/girlfriend/secret lover/sassy spouse/significant other chose you for who you are as a person, not for who you are as half a couple. And if you know you can manage to be by yourself, you become a lot less desperate - being with somebody becomes a blessing, not a need.

I know, I'm so wise. I could be a self-help book. Only that I actually don't like waking up alone.

A life skill I don't have

Dear future hubster,

please note that I am probably the worst negotiator on the face of the planet. Therefore, you need to keep in mind that

1: you shouldn't send me to an African market because I would pay the sticker price. My mind just can't accept the idea that there is a price that is not to be taken seriously by any means, and we need to engage in some obscure ritual, at the end of which I'm probably still being screwed over, but maybe a little less.

2: I'm not to be trusted with buying a car with diplomatic discount (or any discount, actually). Same as above, I have a hard time haggling for something we both know I should get. 

3: if you want something, or don't want something, you should just say it please. I get very anxious in conversations where I suspect there is a condition I'm not aware of because it wasn't explicitly communicated. You don't want aubergine four times a week, say it. But don't come up with pseudo-scientific arguments about the effect of too much purple food on the human brain.

To the nines

Dear future hubster,

Even though I will tell you that in my age it takes a significant amount of time to prepare for such an event, and I will have to spend the next day recovering on the sofa, please note that I do enjoy a fancy dancy night out time and again. You know, red dress, black tie, waltz the night away and all that jazz.