Monday, February 4, 2019

In every single way

Dear future hubster,
that "believe in yourself" mantra, I think that's a bit of a myth. Some people never lost their initial, unchallenged belief of their worth, but the rest of us, we have to learn again.
And it doesn't just happen because you keep telling yourself all the good things. Even other people telling you all the good things is not going to make you believe. If you're a fellow beneficiary of the impostor syndrome, it might just make you feel like you're faking everything. 
What does make a difference though is when people tell you things without those nice words. Unplanned, instinctively. When they look at you and it's obvious that they see beauty. When they giggle uncontrollably. When they wake up crying from a bad dream, and they tell you what it was about. When they ask you important and complicated questions because they are certain you know the answer. When they count on you because they know they can. When they show up for you on small days, not just the big ones. 
Those firework-less, no-big-word, almost unnoticed moments: they make us believe that we're worth it, whatever 'it' is. 
I just wish there was enough of those moments for all the beautiful broken boys and girls with loud ugly voices in their heads telling them nonsense. So that they could also see their beauty. And maybe one day even start believing it. 

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